Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing
Me, bleeding profusely from a missing leg as I’m being dragged onto the beach: THIS WAS A STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY OCCASION, IF THE SHARK WANTED ME DEAD I WOULD BE DEAD. SHARKS ARE IMPORTANT FOR THEIR ECOSYSTEMS I DO NOT CONDONE ANY ATTEMPTS TO HUNT THIS SHARK
[Video description: A captioned video of multiple white young adult men, playing several guitars and drums and one keyboard, with one lead guy doing most of the singing. The song is to the tune of “Stacy’s Mom”.
singer: “stacy’s dad has got me down bad! stacy’s dad has got me down bad!”
(one of the guys clicks a pair of salad tongs)
singer: “stacy can i come over in my car?”
entire group (doing the motions of “turning a wheel and beeping the horn”): “in my car!”
singer: “we can change the oil and hang out in the garage!”
entire group (kneeling down as two of them wave wrenches): ménage a garage!
singer: “did your dad get back from the hardware store?”
group (all holding hammers as the lead singer sits on a chair with a book on construction): “hardware store!”
singer: “is he there? or is he reading about the civil war?”
entire group (miming loading guns as the lead singer sits with a book): “civil war!”
singer: “and i know that you think it’s just a fantasy, but since your mom came out your dad could use a guy like me!”
[lights start changing color, everyone’s playing + dancing becomes more intense]
singer: “stacy’s dad!! has got me down bad!! he’s all i want and i think he’s a real chad!! stacy can’t you see, it’s mr. stacy’s mom for me! i know it might be bad, but i’m in love with stacy’s dad!”
I tell people about my autistic traits all the time, they just don’t know it because I don’t say “autistic.”
It’s kind of funny sometimes, like this text, but it is also genuinely a good strategy.
“Oh, I don’t get hints very well! Feel free to be direct!”
“I apologize if I forget your name/face, I’m pretty face blind so if I don’t seem to remember you next time we see each other it’s not because I hate you haha, just remind me who you are”
“It’s not that I don’t like you guys, I just need breaks from people now and then or I get burnt out.”
“Maybe this is silly, but I’m bad with inflections—can you clarify if that was a joke or if you meant it seriously?”
“No thanks, I don’t eat that, the texture is a sensory issue for me.”
“Lemme know if my wiggliness is distracting and I’ll find a different way to fidget :)”
“I’d love to get together sometime! I have a hard time with unexpected changes and can’t guarantee I’ll be able to go without advance notice so let’s plan ahead and do it!”
Literally, as long as the person you’re talking to is a decent human being, most of the time you do not need to actually disclose that you’re autistic in order to explain your autistic traits.
[Image I.D.: White text on a blue background that reads, “In order to break the people-pleasing pattern, we must learn how to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including:
The discomfort of others being unhappy with us
The discomfort of letting others handle their own problems instead of us rushing to fix them
The discomfort of having difficult conversations and setting tough boundaries
The discomfort that comes when we realize others’ happiness isn’t our responsibility, but our own happiness is” /end I.D.]
ALT
